School Is A Tool

School can and should be more about learning to succeed at life than just about achieving a formal education.  If children are taught to persevere, pay attention to the details, utilize self-control, be resourceful in finding creative solutions, learn from their mistakes, and to not be afraid to try new things, then they will have the basic skills needed to succeed at life.  But, if the focus is solely on the standard process utilized in obtaining a formal education -- memorizing names and dates, replicating a formula, or believing something just because it is “written by an expert” – then the student may succeed perfectly in the education assembly line, but fail in the real world that requires a person to think for themselves.  School can be a tool to teach much more than reading, writing, and arithmetic.

Parents are solely and completely responsible for their child’s education whether they utilize the public school system, pay for a private school experience, or home educate.  Too many people today have deferred this to “experts”.  The public school system is not the only option and, with the liberal agenda being force-fed through every subject, parents should beware sending their children into this indoctrination machine.  Dear Reader, be aware that I am a born-again, evangelical Christian.  I believe that if the Lord has blessed you with children, then He will perfectly provide you with the resources to raise that child.  

The ideal student teacher ratio is one-to-one. You are the perfect person to lead, guide, and direct your child’s learning and there is no one else who can do it better than you.  This doesn’t mean that you must be an expert and personally teach every skill and subject, but that you can make the best decision about how your child should learn every skill and subject.  There are subjects that should be taught by “expert tutors”, but at the end of the day it is the parent that must make sure that the child has learned the life lessons and not just the educational lesson plan. No one cares more about your child’s success than you do and that is the key component which will cause you to research and resource just what your child needs. Even if you send your child to school, whether it be free or financed, at the end of the day it is still the parent’s job to make sure their child did the homework, followed the instructions, and studied the subject matter to the point of understanding and, ideally, to mastery.  But the opportunities which come to a child in the process of achieving an education are so much more aspirational than simply learning reading, writing, and mathematics.  

Math is a great example because it can be really hard for some people.  But this is where the opportunities lie to foster some of the most important life lessons.  Focus on perseverance.  Focus on it being okay to get the wrong answer, but what is not okay is to pitch a fit and quit.  You must keep trying, ask for help, do it again.  Maybe the math lesson should be put aside, and you should play a game that teaches the importance of reading directions carefully and following directions precisely.  A good, old-fashioned game of Simon Says can be a really important skill builder.  Make it fun.  Learn skip counting and multiplication by singing songs and playing games.  Learn fractions by cutting pizza or measuring ingredients while baking cookies.  Learning doesn’t have to be laborious.  

I can speak on this subject from my experience homeschooling three daughters from birth through high school. My youngest daughter, Emma Joy,  is now in the final weeks of college.  Her two older sisters, Maris Joy and Corinne Joy,  graduated college during the height of the pandemic lock-down in 2020.  Emma’s graduation next spring means that I am also about to finally “graduate”.  

I wanted to homeschool before I even had children because of a few home school families I knew from a multi-generational Sunday School class I attended.  Their children were different than other kids, but in very positive ways. They made eye contact when we spoke and were polite and well mannered. They liked talking to adults. They liked their siblings and would play with or interact with those who were younger or older than they were.  They seemed confident in social situations and would listen attentively to speakers and ask insightful questions.  

These families inspired me to think outside the box of formalized education and consider the possibilities of home education.  This was in the early 1990s when home education was legal, but questionably so.  These moms were careful to not take their kids “out” before three o’clock because neighbors might report them as “truant” and then the legal issues would have to be explained.  Even though it was legal, it was not socially acceptable.  Home schoolers were considered weird and radical and reclusive.  The perception was that the kids were isolated and socially repressed.  My experience in getting to know these families confirmed the opposite to be true. 

Fast-forward a few years to when I’m married and have our first baby.  One of the homeschool moms I really admired encouraged me to read multiple books on homeschooling philosophies and, when Maris was about four years old, to join a local homeschool support group.  These were becoming available in south Florida where I live. This would help us be part of a community for advice and support.  

I should pause here and give credit to my husband who was totally supportive, both physically and relationally.  We were married four years, to the exact day, before Maris was born.  We decided that I would quit my lucrative career to be a stay-at-home mom.  While his job didn’t pay as much at that time, we trusted that the Lord would provide the resources we needed, as we both believed it was my calling to stay home to raise our children.  We struggled financially, and at times relationally, but I can testify from the hindsight vantage point of twenty-plus years that it was the absolute right decision for our family and the Lord did provide, sometimes even in miraculous ways.

In the early years we read and worked all the parenting books and skills, striving to raise kids we liked who were well mannered and self-disciplined. Then, as advised, when Maris was four, I began researching the four widely recognized philosophies on homeschooling at that time:  Classical Education, Unit Studies, the Charlotte Mason Approach, and Unschooling.  I read the books and decided that a blend of Charlotte Mason and Classical Education made sense to me.  My husband and I discussed the pros and cons, and started preschool/kindergarten with our youngest, Maris, when she was almost five, using curriculum from Sonlight and Five in a Row.  These worked great because I also had a two-year-old and a newborn. I found the process of teaching to be doable because I used the resources and tools.  We spent about 30 minutes to an hour each morning on formal subjects and then story time and experiential learning with crafts and songs and games.  Also, as advised, I sought out other families who were like-minded by joining a local support group, Boca Home Schoolers.  This was the powerhouse that really gave me the vision and community I needed.  Seeing the other families and learning how they did certain things and handled challenges spurred me on to continue with each kid year-after-year.  

 One of the biggest blessings and sources of help and fun was co-op teaching with my friends.  Dawn had two boys the ages of my girls and we did “Five In A Row” together.  We went to the beach with glow sticks and read Night of the Moonjellies.  We made apple pies and read How to Make an Apple Pie and See the World.  I’m not sure what book caused us to camp in tents overnight in my backyard, but we did it.   And we all loved it.  The dads too.

Another friend was homeschooling her three children.  Her youngest was the same age as my oldest and we decided to each work in our strengths together. She would teach grammar and writing with my littles and I would help her older ones with math.  This small endeavor around her dining room table grew into a large co-op with thirteen families learning history together.  We divided the labor so that each family only had to coordinate one event during the school year and be a helper at two other events.  Each lead family went all-out and made their topic experiential and fun. The kids would dress in period attire and reenact historical events in creative ways.  They rowed across a pool to flee Ireland during the potato famine and arrive in Ellis Island.  They stood in ice water and pretended to be with Washington crossing the Delaware.  They pulled covered wagons through the park and reenacted the Oregon Trail, with some kids getting “kidnapped” by older siblings dressed as Indians.  They rebuilt a telegraph line in one family’s yard that had been destroyed in Sherman’s “march to the sea”.  They bartered for food and clothing during the Dark Ages and learned about inflation.  They recited Shakespear and Greek tragedies wearing togas and reclining at a feast.   These co-ops were fun and inspirational.  The kids made great friends. We moms got support and encouragement, and an afternoon off when it wasn’t our turn to host or help.

There were other options available in our area.  Three very resourceful and ambitious moms created a large, highly organized co-op where, for a fee, the kids would receive formal teaching in advanced subjects from highly qualified instructors.  These classes were taught once a week in a typical classroom setting and the kids had homework assignments to prepare during the following week.  My kids took biology and chemistry from an expert in creation science, who taught them the differences between the evolutionary and creation viewpoints.  They took college preparatory classes in English and math.   During the week between classes, it was my job as the parent to make sure my child accomplished the assignments.  My kids have all said that these classes prepared them for college, which then seemed easier because they went to class multiple times per week and not just once.  

Dual-enrollment was another option in our area as we have both Palm Beach State College and Florida Atlantic University, literally in our backyard.  My girls began taking classes at PBSC in their junior year of high school.  This allowed them to “double count” the class for both high school and college credit.  They took English, math, science, and some electives.  Maris and Corinne both had over 20 college credits when they graduated high school.  Other kids graduated with over 50 hours.  Colleges looked very favorably on dual-enrollment because it demonstrated they could handle the workload.  This was really helpful with college applications and scholarships. 

 We’re almost done.  Maris received her degree from the University of Florida in August 2020.  Corinne graduated from Florida Atlantic University in May 2020, getting her BBA in three years.  She then went to Cosmetology school, graduating in June 2021.  Emma is on-track to graduate from college in a few months, which means that I’m graduating too.  

Now I want to spend some time reflecting on how we homeschooled and why.  What worked and what didn’t.   Reflection can and should be used for many purposes.  When you have completed a required assignment, one should review their work and critique if it was done well and thoroughly.  But reflecting on experiences is another matter, and, since all of life is an experience, how does one accurately and insightfully reflect on those?  Because it's really about the decisions which have been made all along the way to bring you to a point in time from which we can reflect with hindsight.   That’s where I am now.  At a singular point in time on a vantage point that gives me a long-term perspective both backward and forward.  I want to share what I have learned to encourage the next generation of homeschoolers as they move forward to use school as a tool for more than an education.